A better world starts in the bedroom: economic justice
This post is one in a series of posts about the bedroom as a site of political activism. It starts at home (or wherever you’re having sex)! If you haven’t read my prior post about gender equity and sex, check it out.
In cis-gendered, heterosexual relationships it may seem obvious that sex could reinforce rigid gender norms or be a tool for gender liberation, depending on how it’s approached and practiced. It may seem less obvious that sex can also be a place where we perpetuate productivity and hustle or rest and peace.
I bet there are very few of us who don’t identify with frustration and burn out associated with never-ending demands on our time. At work, our productivity is (in the best case scenario, which isn’t great) tied to our earning potential. We can always do more, more, more if we want to make more. (And given the cost of living and increasing income inequality, it can feel like we have to strive to survive.) If we have kids, we’re expected to keep up with routines, homework, extracurricular activities - the things that indoctrinate kids to grow up to be productive adults like their parents. If we’re not rich - whether it’s in money, time, relationships, material things - it’s considered our own failing rather than the failing of society. Ah, capitalism!
But sex, done right, can be a place where we examine our relationship with productivity and hustle culture, too. Are we focused on an end result or the joy of physical touch, intimate connection, and pleasure? Can we push against demands on our time by enjoying a sex session that’s as long as we want and without a specific goal? Can we appreciate sex as a place where adults can just play, without spending any money or having anything to show for it other than our own happiness?
In the moments when we’re focused on the “journey instead of the destination,” and pleasure for the sake of pleasure, we’re choosing our own happiness and peace above all else. We’re saying that intimacy with ourselves and others is reason enough, and that WE determine what we find worthy versus a waste of time. If we can only do one thing at a time, when we’re having sex we’re inherently deciding to do that instead of doing any number of things that our bosses, or social media, or other pressures demand of us. We’re putting ourselves at the center of our lives, which shouldn’t be radical but most certainly is nowadays.
We know that taboo can make sex hotter than ever, and it’s pretty taboo to give a big middle finger to capitalism and hustle culture and responsibilities that we never asked for but somehow feel powerless to avoid. Who knows? Maybe new fantasies and scenarios will come from using sex as a tool for economic liberation instead of another place we’re expected to work and have something to show for it.
At the very least, prioritizing sex qualifies as a radical act and a stand for ourselves.